Tequila Club

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Tequila Club

Tequila Club is a drinking system that requires members to follow specific linguistic rules during a series of rounds, each featuring a spirit-based drink.


The Club was first instituted in 2001 in Bobbys, as a systematized community method of drinking Tequila - which nobody really likes. The rules that evolved are based around those present at that first occasion, but they have changed over the years to reflect the growing popularity of Tequila Club, a general trend of de-regulation in Bedlam, and the Club's creator leaving Edinburgh. The idea of a tequila 'Club' is based loosely on David Fincher's 1999 film version of Scott Palahniuk's novel "Fight Club", although the rules differ significantly.

This is lifted from an E-mail the day after the first ever Club, The e-mail was headed “About last Night…”

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Tequila CLub:

Six there must be!

Not five, no!

Nay, nor seven!

But six! Six there must be for the circle to be complete!

The Official Tequila Club Rules:

1. You do not talk about Tequila Club.

2. [See Rule 1.]

3. Six there must be! [See above]

4. All previous rounds must be finished before the commencement of the next round.

5. Maglites must be shared with those without.

6. Members shall gradually collonise better and better seating, until they are the only people left in the pub and have to be thrown out at closing time.

7. The "Responsible Barman" shall know of tequila club, shall indulge their strange alcoholic requests and shall give them measures that some might call "suspiciously larger than normal".

8. There is no eighth rule.

9. Memberships may be exchanged as members wish, and a membership may even be split among more than one person providing that the fractional sum equals six, for six there must be! [See above]

10. Members who have borrowed their flatmate's bicycles and who have enjoyed a number of Tequila Club rounds should not attempt to ride them home and ON NO ACCOUNT should they use the fact that they are very strong, Scottish and without the calming influence of their girlfriend to attack those who try to assist them in this respect.

11. WIth respect to rule 10, members - even those from the north-east of England - should not let down other member's flatmate's tyres in an effort to prevent them from riding home. He tried to anyway.

12. There shall be no talk of variant-CJD in Cappadocia.

13. The sets of outside companies shall not be interfered with, and a professional attitude to said outside companies' shows - no matter how awe-inspiringly bad examples of theatre they may be - shall be maintained at all times.

14. When falling off bicycles which are traveling at speed and without air in the tyres [see rules 10 and 11] members shall remember to fall onto the grass, which is safer than concrete.

15. Members shall not have strange encounters on the way home ['nuff said].

16. Neil should not have to get involved in any of this, although he doesn't mind looking after his friends.

17. Tequila Club probably shouldn't meet again for a little while, and should give time for bank acounts and heads to recover...

- Neil "Six there must be!" Hobbs, Self-Appointed Tequila Club Secretary'

Original rules

The Club requires six Members at any one time, one of whom takes the role of the host (although no such title has ever been specifically set). The Tequila Club begins when one Member buys a round of Tequila, ideally accompanied by salt and lemon/lime and normally carried on a tray: at this point many present will comment along the lines of "oh no!" and "what have you done?", leading to the self-selection of those six who are hard-core enough to be members for the first round. The club then proceeds as follows:

  • The host speaks: "Ladies and gentlemen of Tequila Club! Six there must be - not five, no, nor seven, nay, but six - six for the circle to be complete! Number off along the boat!"
  • The other members then each speak "one", "two", three", "four" or "five" in turn.
  • The host then says: "Six. Six there indeed are! Ladies and gentlemen of Tequila Club - make ready!"
  • The members clink their glasses together, and prepare themselves.
  • The host finally says: "Ladies and gentlemen of Tequila Club: Round One - Fight!"
  • All members drink, accompanied by salt and lemon/lime in the approved way if available.
  • (It is usually advisable to have a chaser of something less tequila-y on standby.)
  • This completes the first round.

Further rounds then proceed in exactly the same way, with the following caveats:

  • Tequila is only a requirement of the first round: any spirit-based or 'short' drink is allowed in subsequent rounds of the Club. (Strictly speaking, a Black Techie would not be permitted, although some have featured in past Clubs.)
  • Membership in the Club is fluid: members are not required to participate in all rounds, and membership can be transferred and swopped. It is only necessary for there to be six members at any one time.

It is usually expected that the host will remain a Member throughout the duration of a particlar Club, and the the same Member will be the host in all the rounds of that Club - although these are guidelines, not rules.

The Club continues until not enough Members want to carry on, everybody runs out of money or too many people are sick.


  • The phrase "number off along the boat" comes from the practice of splitting a rowing crew into odd and even numbers 'along the boat' to facilitate lifting a hull from rack to water.
  • The phrase "round one - fight!" is taken from 'Mortal Kombat'.
  • It is traditional (and, indeed, practical) that any round which includes Pete as a Member should take care to arrange a clear route between Pete and the toilets.

The Next Generation rules

Tequila Club, Fringe Party 2005

After a couple of years of successful operation, Tequila Club relaxed its rule structure significantly. This largely manifested itself in removing the limit of "six there must be", initially doubling this to a Membership number of twelve for certain Clubs before abandoning it completely in later years.

The End-Of-Fringe Party in August, 2005, saw the most notable recent example. A Tequila Club had taken place in the Scene Dock during the previous two Fringe Parties, but the combination of many Members and an extremely poor selection of hideous alcohol resulted in what was thought may be the last major Tequila Club for some time.

The End-Of-Fringe Party in August, 2007, saw a ridiculous number of people (21 ish) start Tequila Club in the dressing room and moving round the building until finishing with ~5 people in the guys disabled toilet.

See also: The D.B.O., Black Techie